Last June Josh died. On the 16th of June it was 12 months exactly.

He would be wondering why on Earth I don’t write here more often. He’d reckon I’d always have something to write about. Even if I just wrote about him!

Thinking back over the last 12 months since last I heard his voice, for real, at the other end of the phone line. So much has happened. So much is kind-of the same. He is in my thoughts so often. I have grown a deeper friendship with some of his blood relatives, and some of our mutual friends.

He would ask me to change the topic, if there was one thing Joshua did not want to talk about it was death. Not of a human anyway. Pets were fine to share the mourning of.

I bought myself a mirror-ball hanging pot- plant holder last winter. In the midst of sadness, and locked-in weirdness I came across such a beauty online and had to find a local provider of such glory.

I hung it from the curtain rail in our kitchen. When the sun is lower in the sky, for the autumn and winter months, at the right time of day our kitchen is full of wonderful, dazzling little reflections. They remind me of my Josh, and his absolute love of a disco ball.

So, he’s never far away it seems – often in my thoughts and sometimes his memory sheds little diamonds of light around my kitchen.